Chronic stress and what you need to know

Definition of chronic stress

Chronic stress is consistent with feeling pressured over a prolonged period of time, lasting at least longer than a month. It’s extremely debilitating and is associated with greater risk of disease including hypertension, weakened immune system, and cardiovascular problems. It might also lead to insomnia, feelings of anxiety, panic attack, and depression.

We previously looked at the fight or flight response, which is an automatic reaction to a stressful or frightening event. We’d notice the dramatic psychological (e.g. negative and/or racing thoughts) and physiological (e.g. palpitations, nausea, dizziness) reaction to a specific event (e.g. having to give a speech or presentaion a work). Awful, yes? However, once that stressful situation passes our symptoms fade, we’d relax a little and are able to get on with our day.

When stress becomes chronic

Unlike acute stress that dissipates and leaves us somewhat calmer, chronic stress steadily drains our psychological resources, leaving us feeling physically and emotionally exhausted.

Prolonged and excessive stress may result in burnout, where we feel overwhelmed, drained, and unable give any more – mentally or physically. We may think we’ve got little or no control, often we can’t see a way out, and feel incapable of changing our dreadful situation.

What causes it

A build up from acute stressors together with big life stressors can cause chronic stress, for example:

• Divorce, or even marriage
• Major life changes like moving home, a new baby
• Death of a loved one
• Changing jobs or losing a job
• Long-term financial hardship
• Relationship stress with family, friends, colleagues
• Traumatic event, such as a natural disaster, theft, rape, or violence against you or a loved one
• Physical and/or mental abuse
• Chronic illness or disability
• Taking care of an elderly or sick family member
• Being constantly overworked

Symptoms

Chronic stress can cause many different symptoms. It might affect how you feel physically, mentally, and also how you behave. It’s not always easy to recognise when stress is the reason you’re feeling or acting differently. Symptoms of chronic stress might include:

• Difficulty breathing
• Panic attacks
• Sleep problems; too much or too little
• Fatigue
• Lethargy
• Unexplained aches and pain
• Chest pains and high blood pressure
• Regular indigestion or heartburn
• Feeling sick, dizzy or fainting
• Sudden weight gain or weight loss
• Under or over eating
• Developing rashes or itchy skin
• Sweating
• Changes to your period or menstrual cycle
• Existing physical health problems getting worse
• Unfocused and/or distorted thinking
• Inability to concentrate/focus
• Forgetfulness
• Easily irritated/angered
• Snapping at people

This list is not exhaustive, and you’d probably feel several of the above at any one time, together with feeling out of control, overwhelmed and unable to cope.

What we can do about it

Given the potential impact of prolonged stress, learning ways of managing, reducing, and preventing stress can be important tools for mental and physical health and wellbeing.

In the first instance, identify what triggers your stress and try to understand why this is. Write out your to-do list everyday to help you reassess your priorities and note the thoughts you’re having about the stressful situations you’re facing. Writing can be a very therapeutic way of dealing with stress, and you’ll more than likely spot a pattern of when or why you’re most stressed. Identifying your triggers is the first step in what’s known as the 4 A’s of stress management: avoid, alter, adapt, and accept.

Avoid

the trigger by learning to say NO (and mean it) i.e. to extra babysitting, to drinks with colleagues, or driving everyone around etc. And don’t feel you have to apologise or make excuses for saying NO. You could take the sting out of saying NO by maybe saying ‘NO, not today’, and stop right there! The first time I said NO to my brother-in-law when he asked me to babysit his daughter for the fourth time one week – I felt awful. But he was so shocked he just said ‘Oh, okay, I’ll come and pick her up’.

Furthermore, if you have social media posts tempting you with distractions — say NO. Avoid and say no to things and situations (even friends) that prevent you from staying focused on your tasks. As I write, I’ve just realised that I went off on Facebook writing groups distracting me from the job at hand — finishing this post — today!

Alter

Sometimes stressful situation can’t be avoided. Bearing this in mind, try to change things. Alter your situation i.e. asking someone else to pick up the dry cleaning, asking other school parents to take turns in getting the kids to football/swimming etc. Enlist help in completing household tasks. Ask the kids to hang up their coats, put their shoes away, and put their dirty clothes in the washing basket. You need to remind yourself too — stop trying to fit everything in and being all things to all people. Tell others what you need from them respectfully, and calmly but firmly. Always use “I” statements i.e. saying “I feel overloaded and unappreciated, can we find a way to resolve this?”

Adapt

Thinking you can’t cope (with all of this stress) is one of life’s greatest stressors. That’s why adapting — which often involves changing your standards or expectations — might be more helpful in dealing with stress. Do you really, really have to edit, re-edit and re-edit your blog posts again, leaving other tasks and chores to build up? Is a big house or more money really going to make you happier if you’re always stressed out? Is a shiny, spotless home really necessary all the time, especially when it’s such hard work? Sometimes “good enough” really has to be good enough. If you can’t change the situation, work on changing yourself by adapting.

Accept

that things are what they are — ‘it is what it is’ my sons often say!

However, acceptance is not the same as resignation, it simply means observing the moment without resistance, not giving in to it.  Take a few minutes of mindfulness; just focus on your breathing, allow thoughts to come and go, just focus on your breathing and keep doing that. Allow your shoulders to drop down from your ears, unclench your jaw and give it a little wiggle (or not, if you’re in public). Just take those few minutes to relax then focus on what you can do next.

This may mean learning to take a step back and stop trying to control other people and their actions. Remember, you can’t change other people, but you can change the way you respond (to their constant demands). Voice how you feel more freely, be more compassionate towards yourself, and learn to forgive or work on strategies to change the things you can change.

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference, Reinhold Niebuhr.

Other forms of help for chronic stress

Our wonderful NHS (UK) suggests the following

• try talking about your feelings to a friend, family member or health professional
• You could also contact Samaritans, call: 116 123 or email: jo@samaritans.org if you need someone to talk to
• find out more about their 10 stress busters – including getting started with exercise and setting aside time for yourself
• plan ahead for stressful days or events – planning long journeys or making a list of things to remember can really help
• consider peer support, where people use their experiences to help each other. Find out more about peer support on the Mind website
• listen to free mental wellbeing audio guides

Over to you

Do you have any other tips to support people experiencing chronic stress? What works for you? I know some people say that Mindfulness or relaxation doesn’t work for them — and that’s okay — try another of the suggestions. Just don’t stress about it 🙂