Strategies to help relieve your stress

Are you prone to high levels of stress and need some simple coping strategies to help relieve it? Yes? Okay, let’s take a look at ‘what stress means’, what causes it, signs and symptoms and finally, some evidence-based simple techniques to alleviate some of your stress.

Stress can be defined as the degree to which you feel overwhelmed or unable to cope as a result of pressures that are unmanageable.

At the most basic level, stress is our body’s response to pressures from a situation or life event. What contributes to stress can vary hugely from person to person and differs according to our social and economic circumstances, the environment we live in and our genetic makeup (

Stress isn’t always bad. In small doses, it can help you perform under pressure and motivate you to do your best. But when you’re constantly running in emergency mode, your mind and body pay the price.

If you frequently find yourself feeling frazzled and overwhelmed, it’s time to take action to bring your nervous system back into balance. You can protect yourself—and improve how you think and feel—by learning how to recognize the signs and symptoms of chronic stress and taking steps to reduce its harmful effects (

With the festive period upon us, no doubt many of us will experience some kind of stress; who to buy gifts for, what to buy them, how much will I spend, Christmas food shopping, writing cards and wrapping gifts……….

Understanding what causes us stress and taking action to manage our stress levels is a key part of looking after our wellbeing.

The Stress Container can help us understand how we experience stress and how to address our stress levels. Use this fantastic interactive tool to explore it (MHFA England)

Click to access stress-container-resource-download.pdf

Some people (me included) are unlucky and have a high vulnerability to stress. Is it ‘nature’ (genetic) or ‘nurture’ (learnt behaviours) that causes stress? To be honest, it doesn’t really matter where it came from, it’s knowing what to do about it that’s important.

If our stress bucket gets too full we can suffer from mental ill health. Certain life events such as unemployment, divorce or separation, bereavement, mental or physical illness etc. can cause our buckets to overflow quite quickly but sometimes small life stressors (having to write out 50+ Christmas cards and empty my suitcase, put a wash on………), can build and accumulate also causing our buckets to fill.

Looking at the diagram above – Vulnerability is shown by the size of the bucket so, for me with high vulnerability to stress, my bucket will be smaller, it will fill up and will overflow quite quickly – unless I use some coping techniques.

The large bucket would be used by someone who has low vulnerability to stress, you know – that person who never flaps, always remains calm and tells you to “chill out” or “relax”. Their bucket will never overflow.

Signs and symptoms of stress overload

The most dangerous thing about stress is how easily it can creep up on you. You get used to it. It starts to feel familiar, even normal. You don’t notice how much it’s affecting you, even as it takes a heavy toll. That’s why it’s important to be aware of the common warning signs and symptoms of stress overload.

Cognitive symptoms:

  • Memory problems
  • Inability to concentrate
  • Poor judgment
  • Seeing only the negative
  • Anxious or racing thoughts
  • Constant worrying

Emotional symptoms:

Physical symptoms:

  • Aches and pains
  • Diarrhea or constipation
  • Nausea, dizziness
  • Chest pain, rapid heart rate
  • Loss of sex drive
  • Frequent colds or flu

Behavioral symptoms:

  • Eating more or less
  • Sleeping too much or too little
  • Withdrawing from others
  • Procrastinating or neglecting responsibilities
  • Using alcohol, cigarettes, or drugs to relax
  • Nervous habits (e.g. nail biting, pacing). (

I often have to remind myself to use some evidence-based coping strategies I used to teach patients:

  • let my shoulders drop (I’ve just realised right now, they’re up around my ears and they ache like hell)
  • unclench my teeth and relax my jaw
  • stop frowning (I do that when I’m concentrating)
  • unclench my hands (my balled fists look ready to punch someone)
  • get up, away from my laptop, stretch and pace the floor for a bit to loosen my limbs and knotted muscles
  • breathe (I hold my breath when I concentrating too) slowly – out then in for about 30 seconds
  • do some mindfulness for anything between 3 minutes (for a quick de-stressor) and 15 minutes (totally de-stressed). I get it; some people just aren’t into mindfulness, and that’s okay. Perhaps you can simply ‘be’.

I’ve just done all the above – I didn’t realise how tight my neck and shoulders were -and I really do feel better. If you’re prone to stress, you could try all or some of these coping strategies. The body can’t possibly be tense and relaxed at the same time so, it makes sense that if you’re relaxed – your stress levels will lessen.

You can use these strategies anytime, anywhere; say in your GP surgery, on public transport etc. Sit (if possible) on a chair with a back on it, place your feet flat on the floor (no crossed legs – this creates tension in your muscles), rest your palms on your thighs, let your shoulders drop and ……………. de-stress.

What’s in your stress bucket right now? How ill you cope over the festive period? I’d love to know how you de-stress too. Any hints or tips?


Mum to two amazing sons. Following recovery from a lengthy psychotic episode, depression, anxiety and anorexia, I decided to train as a Mental Health Nurse and worked successfully in various settings before becoming a Ward Manager. I am a Mental Health First Aid Instructor and a Mental Health Awareness Trainer, Mental Health First Aid Youth and Mental Health Armed Forces Instructor. Just started my mental health from the other side blog.

13 thoughts on “Strategies to help relieve your stress”

  1. I need to keep my shoulders in check indeed, I think one day they will grow stuck on my ears! I like to practice some toe-wiggeling and feet stretching. Showering can be also good or to focus on 1 good/special thing for you. Like, today I’ll read 10 pages and try to enjoy that. Thank you for the other tips, they came very timely! 🙂

  2. That’s interesting! I too have a tiny, tiny stress bucket. The technical reason for my disability (secondary to my diagnoses) is that I can’t handle stress at all. (In the workplace, it will literally make me suicidal in a matter of hours.) But without the onus of having to work, I can handle it because if I get overwhelmed, I shut down and force myself to rest. I take extra Seroquel (it’s allowed) to put myself to sleep for a nap, but even if I don’t fall asleep, that drug makes me so happy that it’s all good. Very relaxing. Sort of trippy, but I never abuse it. I’ve gotten really skilled at being able to tell when I’m overwhelmed and need to rest, period, end of. For physical tension, like when I was traveling to Europe recently, I packed some L-Theanine supplements. It’s the active ingredient in green tea that makes you feel woozy when you drink it. Very relaxing!

    1. Thanks for your comments Meg. Crikey, we’re all wired so differently, aren’t we? It’s great that you can take the extra Seroquel and I’m guessing there are no evil side-effects? I’ve taken you at your word, read up on L-Theanine and have only gone and ordered some. Apart from my Transverse Myelitis, depression, anxiety and panic attacks, I also go Restless Leg Syndrome and Restless Body too. It’s awful! I’m hoping the L-Theanine will help. I’ll let you know how I get on 🙂

      1. Oh YAY! Wow, I’m glad I could help!! 🙂 Keep me posted for sure about how it works for you!! That’s great!!

        No, there’re no evil side effects for me of taking extra Seroquel. To clarify, I take around 200 or 300 mg each night to sleep soundly through the night, but I might be able to back off that dose because I’ve been sleeping a lot. I only need a modicum (25 mg) to prevent any bipolar (manic) episodes. So I’m forever adjusting how much of it I take, and it always seems to work out. Like, I took 300 last night and slept until 1:30 PM, so it will definitely be less tonight.

        When I take extra, which is whenever I’m really overwhelmed, miserable, exhausted, or so forth, I’ll take maybe 500 or 600 mg max and then just go lie down. If I fall asleep, after I wake up that evening, I feel conked and braindead, but that’s a small price to pay. Then at bedtime, I don’t take any more, or I’ll take a very small amount if it was long ago that I took the extra ones.

        I’m sorry to hear you have transverse myelitis! I don’t know much about it! Feel free to post a link if you’ve blogged about it, so I can find out more! Sounds dreadful! 😮

      2. Aaawww, lovely hearing from you again Meg 🙂 It’s great that you have control over the dosage and that you know what works best for you. Yep, I’ll keep you posted about the L-Thingy lol. And that’s great idea – I might write a post about TM, thanks! Caz x

  3. Love the tool!! Great visualization. When I’m stressed I always feel it in my lower back for some reason. It will throb and pulsate quickly and that’s when I know it’s long overdue for a break.

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