Learn how to challenge the irrational beliefs ruining your life

Are irrational beliefs ruining your quality of life?

In my last post we looked at CBT techniques for managing distressing thoughts and feelings, namely the ABC model. Think back — the aim of CBT is to challenge our irrational and dysfunctional thought processes.

When we learn to use the ABC model, we can begin to intervene and take control of our thoughts, feelings, and behaviours.

Remember — While some Activating events can undoubtedly upset our lives (i.e. failing your driving test), we do have some control over how we react and respond to them (i.e. I can always sit it again). For the most part, the more positively we respond, the more positive our outcomes will be.

ABCDE model helps you challenge irrational beliefs

Further to the ABC model, there’s the ABCDE model. Let’s see how we can use the ABCDE model to further challenge your irrational beliefs/thoughts.

Use the ABCDE model (Albert Ellis, 1979) to challenge the irrational beliefs ruining your life
Use the ABCDE model (Albert Ellis, 1979) to challenge the irrational beliefs ruining your life

Again, remember — the basic idea behind the ABC model is that “external events (A) do not cause emotions (C), but beliefs (B) and, in particular, irrational beliefs (IBs) do.” According to Ellis, these are some of the common irrational assumptions we make:

  • we have no control over our happiness.
  • we should be thoroughly competent at everything.
  • it’s catastrophic when things aren’t the way we want them to be.
  • we need someone stronger than ourself to be dependent on.
  • there must be a perfect solution to human problems, and it’s a disaster if we don’t find it.

Ellis introduced a simple method to remove some of the weight from these assumptions in order to help us focus on things that matter. Let’s go back to the failed driving test.

A — Activating Event
This activating event is the source of your anger or dejection. In other words, it is your adversity. I failed my driving test.

B — Beliefs
In this section, you should state what general beliefs you are feeling in regard to the activating event.I shouldn’t have failed? I’ll never pass the damn test!

C — Consequences
This aspect of the model is possibly the most important: openly identifying your emotions as a direct result of your beliefs. I feel so angry that I couldn’t pass.I must be really stupid. I bet everyone’s laughing at me, I feel so embarrassed.

Irrational beliefs lead to irrational consequences

Ellis asserted that irrational beliefs lead to irrational consequences, or feelings, and vice versa. It’s important to identify your feelings so that you can figure out if they are irrational or not.

Our example: I’m angry and ashamed that I can’t pass my test when I tried so hard. I must be useless and I’m a laughing stock to others.

D — Disputing
Here’s a very important section. This is where you begin to turn your feelings around. If the belief you stated above is irrational, then you can identify your sentiments as irrational as well.
My assumption that I shouldn’t” and I’ll never” are weighted in irrational beliefs.
Dispute these irrational beliefs i.e. “Okay, if I hadn’t stayed out until 3 in the morning I might have been better prepared for my test.” or “Perhaps I could have waited to resit the test, knowing I had lots of college exams the same week.”

Dispute the beliefs to find which are dysfunctional

by asking yourself:

  • what is the evidence that my belief is true? i.e. who saysI should have passed or that I’ll never pass the test?
  • in what ways is my belief helpful or unhelpful? “My beliefs are unhelpful, they’re irrational.”
  • what helpful/self-enhancing belief can I use to replace each self-defeating or dysfunctional belief? i.e. “I’ve passed many exams before and got distinctions in most, which proves I am not stupid.” and “My friends have always been supportive of me so there’s no reason for them to laugh at me now. They’ll be disappointed for me but will cheer me on to pass the next time.”

Looking at the above example, you can ask whether your beliefs are justified by the activating event. Or are they based on inaccurate assumptions or ‘mind-reading? In CBT world, mind reading or making assumptions about what other people are thinking are classed as thinking errors (another interesting read).

Balancing statements to challenge the irrational beliefs ruining your life

On reflection, if you think the beliefs aren’t justified, then you might want to consider some Balancing Statements. You can then remind yourself of these if similar activating events occur again — to help keep what is happening in perspective. In the example above, possible Balancing Statements might be:

  • “Maybe I did fail this test, but I’ve passed lots of other tests over the years, and many with distinction.”
  • And you might think “I’m really just jumping to conclusions because my friends don’t normally laugh at other people’s downfalls.” or “My friends are often my biggest cheerleaders so why would they laugh on this occasion?”
  • Rather than “I’m so stupid” you might think “I’ve done well in all other exams, this is just a temporary setback and I’ll pass next time.” You might also try asking yourself what a trusted friend might say or think in the same situation.

This reflection will challenge your negative beliefs and hopefully, your angry and embarrassed feelings will dissipate.

E is for exchanging old irrational beliefs

E — Exchange old unhelpful irrational beliefs for effective new rational and balanced beliefs, and emotional consequences.

The final section of this method requires turning your new rational belief into rational emotions that can inspire you to tackle future problems. The goal of this exercise is to turn unhealthy feelings into positive, healthy ones. Ask yourself:

  • What helpful/self-enhancing new belief can I use to replace each self-defeating or dysfunctional belief? i.e. “I’m quite bright actually, seeing the amount of exams I have passed,” and “even if my friends do laugh, they’ll be laughing at me for thinking I’m stupid.”
  • Now, what are my new feelings? i.e Relaxed, not angry, no longer embarrassed and actually quite proud of my achievements to date.

These simple exercises help us to build awareness of ‘how’ we think – they help us to see patterns and links over time. Most importantly, they help us see that our thoughts are often irrational, illogical and unhelpful so that we can
dispute them and replace them with positive self-talk.

So, if you find yourself having destructive, negative or irrational thoughts, you might want to try using this exercise. As I’ve often said, practice (and keep practicing) this exercise so that you can instantly recognise what is troubling you or causing you problems in the future.

Will you try to challenge any irrational beliefs ruining your life?

Over to you

What do you think? Are you familiar with the explanation of the ABCDE model? In which situations would you apply this tool? Do you recognize irrational thoughts on a personal level? How can the ABCDE model help you?

Self-help for managing distressing thoughts and feelings

Are you prone to distressing thoughts and feelings?

CBT techniques for managing distressing thoughts and feelings

If you are, you might want to try Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT). CBT is a form of talking therapy which can be used to treat people who are experiencing various mental health problems.

CBT focuses on the relationship between our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. The guiding principle of this therapy is that our thoughts influence our feelings, which determine our behavior. Thus, to change behavior, we must change our thoughts

CBT is based on the idea that how we think (cognition), how we feel (emotion) and how we act (behaviour) all interact together. Specifically, our thoughts determine our feelings and our behaviour. CBT helps help people to change disruptive thoughts, behaviours and feelings in order to successfully navigate the challenges that life presents.

While CBT is normally offered by qualified therapists, there’s often a long wait before you’re offered an appointment via the NHS. But while you wait there’s no reason why you can’t start using some of the basic techniques to help you manage your distressing thoughts and feelings — right now.

ABC model of CBT to manage distressing thoughts and feelings

Self-help to manage your distressing thoughts and feelings — Easy as ABC — image from Pixabay

Psychologist Dr Albert Ellis created the ABC model; a CBT technique used for analysing our thoughts, behaviour, and emotions/feelings.

When we learn to use the ABC model, we can begin to intervene and take control of our thoughts, feelings, and behaviours. Its name refers to the components of the model. Here’s what each letter stands for:

(A)   Activating event/trigger – The actual event and your immediate interpretations of the event.

(B)   Beliefs about the event – This evaluation can be rational or irrational and correct or incorrect.

(C)   Consequences – How you feel, and what you do or what other thoughts follow.

Here is an example of a negative belief/perspective:

1. What is the Activating Event? i.e. My friend passes me in the street one afternoon and doesn’t smile, wave or even acknowledge me.

2. What is your Belief about that event? What thoughts do you have? i.e. I believe that she’s just being rude or is upset with me about something that happened last week.

3. What feelings do you have when you think that? i.e. I feel resentful that she ignored and I’m scared she’ll say something negative about me to our mutual friends.

Here is an example of a positive belief/perspective:

At this point, you go back to:

1. The activating event, which remains the same, but then you challenge the automatic thought that you had about the event.

2. What else could that event mean? Identify other possible beliefs or explanations. Try to at least give a neutral explanation. I.e. She might just be having a bad day because she’d had to work through lunch, and was now focused on grabbing a quick snack for the bus home. Whatever it was, she was probably just too distracted to say hi and will probably call later for a catch-up.

3. What feelings do you have when you think that the alternatives are possible? I.e. I feel reassured that she’s not holding onto the event from last week and I feel safe that she won’t talk about me behind my back.

4. How does your behavior change as your feelings change? Example: I don’t waste my time thinking about something that has nothing to do with me.

Activating events/triggers DO NOT cause your emotions

The underlying idea behind the ABC model is that “external events (A) do not cause emotions (C), but beliefs (B) and, in particular, irrational beliefs (IB) do”

The B is considered to be the most important component because CBT focuses on changing beliefs (B) in order to create more positive consequences (C). Often there isn’t much we can do about the activating event or adversity (A) as that’s normally out of our control.

This is a very basic form of CBT and, as with a more intensive form of the technique, it can only work if you are open to changing your thoughts and understand and accept that your thoughts influence your behavior.

The ABC 3 colum form is a staple CBT worksheet, and you can use something like this — with or without the pretty baubles.

ABC Model to help you manage distressing thoughts and feelings

The ABC technique is designed to collect information about what led to a specific distressing belief/thought. On a blank piece of paper, write along the top column (1) Activating event, column (2) Belief, and column (3) Consequences.

An example of how the model might be used to describe a particular situation is given below:

Activating event (A) trigger

Write down the event or situation that triggered your thoughts and feelings.
Beliefs/thoughts (B)


Write down the thoughts that went through your head when the activating event occurred (or after it)
Consequences/action (C)
Actions

How did you act then?
Emotions
What did you feel then?

My boss asked if I’d completed a project yet.

My thoughts were:

“He thinks I’m too slow”

or

“He’s always on my back.”
 

I retorted defensively, saying that I’m nearly finished.

I felt angry.
ABC model of CBT, Albert Ellis 1979

You could turn your belief of the above situation around. As already mentioned, you can’t often control the activatting event (A) but you could change your belief/thought (B) to a more rational and neutral one i.e. “My boss hasn’t complained before so maybe he’s just making conversation, or assessing to see whether I need more time.” The consequences (C) wouldn’t feel so dire i.e. You might feel more relaxed and ask him if it’s urgent, how urgent it is, can you have more time?”

This reflection will challenge your negative beliefs and hopefully, your angry feeling will dissipate.

ABCDE model to further change your negative thoughts/beliefs

Over and above the ABC model, there’s the ABCDE model too — D meaning to dispute negative thoughts and E for exchanging you negative beliefs/thoughts (B) to something more rational and nuetral. See how you can use this model to effectively make positive changes to your negative beliefs — in my next post!

Over to you

What do you think? Are you familiar with the explanation of the ABC model? In which situations would you apply this tool? Do you recognize irrational thoughts on a personal level? How can the ABC model help you?

How to practice self-help for your anxiety

Self-help for anxiety disorders

Using lavendar oil is a great self-help tool for your anxiety

There are many evidence-based self-help activities you can practice yourself to reduce your anxiety, such as:

  • attending a self-help course in person, or online
  • use muscle relaxation techniques. Try it now. Let your shoulders slump down from your ears, wiggle your neck side to side, unclench your jaw, and give it a little wiggle. Uncross your legs and unclench your fists, lay your palms and fingers gently on your thighs, and remind yourself that your body cannot be relaxed and tense at the same time. You can practice this on the bus, at work, at home, practically anywhere. Just make sure you do it regularly throughout the day and this will help to calm you down when you most need it.
  • put a few drops of lavender (known to ease anxiety) on a tissue, exhale long and slow through your mouth then slowly breathe the scent in through your nose. Do this for 3-4 minutes — and relax. Lavender oil is also available as a once-daily capsule for anxiety, . 
  • try mindfulness or other forms of meditation.
  • exercise regularly or do something fun with family, friends, or your partner.
  • go for a long walk, get in touch with nature.
  • try to stop smoking.
  • cut down on the amount of alcohol and caffeine you drink.
  • try some of the free mental health apps and tools online.
  • adjust your lifestyle to make it less busy, hectic, and rushed.
  • Learn how to set boundaries and to say ‘NO’.
  • take part in activities that give you pleasure, make you feel competent, or give you a chance to take a break from other, more stressful activities.
  • see some more tips to help with your anxiety and panic attacks here

Self-help therapy refers broadly to the idea of treating one’s own emotional or psychological problems, without the assistance of a therapist. However, it’s important to discuss your symptoms and possible treatments with your GP, to ensure the most appropriate care is provided to you.

Of course, the above list is not exhaustive and some might say “this or that doesn’t work for me.” But sometimes we give up too easily; we give something a go, it doesn’t work immediately — sometimes it takes practice and patience.

Over to you

Image by ClipArt

What do you think about anxiety, the effects, and impact it has on our daily lives? Perhaps you have some self-help tips you could share? I look forward to your thoughts and comments, and of course, I’ll answer any questions.

How to manage panic attacks

Find out how to manage panic attacks

Knowing how to manage panic attacks helps
Knowing how to manage panic attacks helps

As someone who’s experienced and had to manage severe panic attacks, I understand just how frightening and debilitating they are. I never want to experience another one and if this is you too, let’s look at how to prevent them.

First tho’, in order to overcome panic attacks, you’ll need to understand what they are. We’ve all had feelings of anxiety – it’s our body’s natural response to stress. It’s a feeling of fear or apprehension about what’s to come.

For example, you may feel anxious about a job interview. During times like this, feeling anxious can be perfectly normal, but some people find it harder to control their anxieties.The most severe form of anxiety can trigger panic attacks.

What is a panic attack or panic disorder?

Panic attacks might follow stressful life events
Panic attacks might follow stressful life events – Image Pixabay

We have panic attacks and panic disorder; one episode is a panic attack, which might occur following a stressful life event i.e death of someone close.

Panic disorder is an anxiety disorder where you regularly have sudden attacks of panic or fear. You experience regular and subsequent attacks. It’s a common yet very misunderstood illness and lots of people with this disorder won’t ever seek help due to fear and stigma.

The attacks can occur often and at any time, seemingly for no apparent reason. It feels like a sudden, unexpected rush of intense fear and anxiety along with a flood of frightening thoughts and physical sensations – so, panic attacks are not merely psychological.

What you should know about panic disorder

Panic attack symptoms are similar to some physical illnesses
Panic attack symptoms are similar to some physical illnesses
  • Many of the symptoms of panic attack are similar to some physical illnesses i.e. heart attack or over-active thyroid. See your GP to rule these out.
  • It’s a chronic condition and can lead to changes in behaviour, like avoiding situations or events.
  • People dread the onset of another attack, and the fear of having one is just as debilitating as the attacks themselves.
  • Panic disorder knows no boundaries as it affects people of all socio-economic groups and races. It’s more common in women than men. It can also affect children and the elderly.
  • Although the exact causes are unclear, panic disorders can run in families.
  • While many attacks are be triggered by stressful life events, they can also occur ‘out of the blue’.
  • Be aware – anti- malaria medication, cold and flu medications, appetite suppressants and even too much caffeine can trigger panic attacks in some people.

If you experience panic attacks, you might then begin to avoid events or situations because you’re afraid of another attack. However, avoidance can create a cycle of living in “fear of the fear”, which only adds to your sense of panic. This can cause you to have more panic attacks, leading to diagnosis of panic disorder

What are the symptoms of panic attacks?

Panic attack can feel like a heart attack
Panic attack can feel like a heart attack – see your GP

If we encounter a situation that threatens our safety, we’ll experience a series of reactions known as the ‘fight or flight’ response – triggered by the release of chemicals that prepare your body to either stay and deal with a threat or to flee to safety.

During a panic attack, we’ll experience similar symptoms, even when there’s no real threat involved. A panic attack might happen in response to situations that others find harmless. Symptoms include physical and physiological symptoms:

  • Racing heartbeat, palpitations
  • Dizziness, light-headedness, or nausea
  • Difficulty breathing, like you can’t get enough air
  • Dry mouth and unable to swallow – if you do need fluids, just take smalls sips to avoid choking
  • Shaking, trembling
  • Sweating and hot flushes or sudden chills
  • Sudden need to go to the toilet, the body needs to lighten to fight or flee
  • Numbness or tingling sensations, initially in your fingers and toes
  • Your face, feet and hands might go white (as with the tingling, this is the blood leaving your extremities to rush to where it’s needed most i.e. heart and muscles)
  • Chest pains – you might think you’re having a heart attack – one way to tell is – if your fingers and toes are tingling, you’re more likely to be having a panic attack. However, if you’re afraid call the emergency services to check

You might experience negative thoughts

tender redhead woman with finger on lips
Embarrassed by panic attack — Image by Pexels
  • I’m so embarrassed, everyone can see me panicking
  • I feel like I’m dying or I’m having a heart attack.
  • I can’t cope with this!
  • I’m so stupid, I’m never going to get rid of this feeling.

and feelings of:

  • You’re going mad or crazy.
  • Being out of physical or emotional control.
  • Unreality/detachment from yourself or your surroundings.
  • Heightened sound and visual awareness, and hypervigilance (for flight or flee you need to hear and see clearly and be vigilant).

A panic attack generally lasts between 4 – 20 minutes, although it often feels a lot longer. However, they have been known to last an hour. I had them one after another, and all night for around three months and it felt like torture. It’s no wonder I became psychotic!

How to manage panic attacks

Practice breathing through your panic attack
Practice breathing through your panic attack — Photo by Pexels
  • Breathe as slowly and deeply as possible, exhaling firstly through your mouth – slowly for a count of 8-10 seconds, then in through your nose slowly and so on.
  • Some people use a paper bag to cover their nose and mouth, and breathe in an out. This is known to work but it’s not something I’d recommend because you’re not always going to have access to a paper bag.
  • Recognise that this is a panic attack and tell yourself that it will pass, because it will.
  • Use muscle relaxation techniques – try slumping your shoulders, letting them drop down from your ears, give your jaw a little wiggle then let it relax, uncross your legs, unclench your fists and lay the palms of your hands lightly on your thighs (remind yourself that your body cannot be relaxed and tense at the same time).
  • Try to get to a quiet space and sit down if necessary and continue with the breathing.
  • If you’re at work or outside, ask for help, I know this might feel a little embarrassing, but do ask if you need to. Most people would try to help.
  • Count backwards slowly from 100 or
  • Look around for 5 things that you can see and name them out loud i.e. “I can see a red truck,” etc. You can go onto things you can hear, smell, taste, or touch in the same way – until the panic subsides. This technique will help you stay in the present and grounded by using your five senses.
  • Put a few drops of lavender (known to ease anxiety) on a tissue, exhale then breathe it in slowly.
  • Call emergency services if the symptoms continue or get worse, or if you’re afraid it might be something else i.e. heart attack.

How to manage someone else’s panic attacks

How to manage someone else's panic attacks
How to manage someone else’s panic attacks — Photo by Pixabay on Pexels
  • Ask the person if they’ve had a panic attack before, and what they think might help or has helped them in the past.
  • Encourage them (or tell them quite firmly if they’re confused and unable to follow directions) to breathe (as above). Do this with them if necessary, as often they think they can’t breathe and won’t be able to do this alone.
  • Follow the above steps and call emergency services if necessary.

Self-help to combat panic attacks

Notice the tension in your body
Notice the tension in your body — Photo by Pexels
  • Listen (regularly) to free mental wellbeing audio guides online. These will help prepare you so that you can manage your panic attacks as you need to.
  • Search and download relaxation and mindfulness apps or online community apps.
  • Learn other skills like visualisation to help you relax and practice them often.
  • Notice when your body is tense i.e. when your shoulders are up round your ears or your fists are clenched and let them relax. When your body is constantly tensed up, it’s effectively telling your brain you’re on alert, tensed and ready to fight or flee.
  • Ask your close friends or family members to support you by gently pointing out when you’re all hunched up and tense. Even better, perhaps they’ll give you a light head massage, or lightly rub your arms and hands in a soothing way.
  • Practice the breathing exercises often so that you’ll be able to use them easily when needed. Honestly, practice this all day, every day — it’s a great feeling and you’ll have it ready to use when you need it.
  • Try mixing lavender oil with other aromatherapy oils like geranium or camomille to produce your own stress reliever.

I really can’t stress enough the need to practice the coping techniques. You know you wouldn’t be able to drive say on a motorway after having just one lesson —it takes practice! If you practice these skills often, this will help if or when you have another panic attack.

Treatment for Panic attacks

Talking therapy for panic attacks
Talking therapy for panic attacks — Photo by Pexels

Treatment aims to reduce the number of panic attacks you have and ease your symptoms:

  • Psychological (talking) therapies and medicine are the main treatments for panic disorder
  • Depending on your symptoms, you may need either of these treatments, or a combination of both

When to get help

See your GP to rule out other causes
See your GP to rule out other causes — Photo by Pexels
  • If you’re having suicidal thoughts, please seek professional help. Or talk to someone close.
  • See a GP if you’ve been experiencing symptoms of panic disorder. Regardless of how long you’ve had the symptoms, if panic attacks are interfering with your life, work, or relationships you should seek professional help.
  • Although panic disorder is a medical condition in its own right, there can sometimes be a physical reason for your symptoms – and treating it can bring the anxious feelings to an end. See your GP to rule out any other causes and don’t self-diagnose.

Over to you

ClipArt

Have you ever had panic attacks, or do you know someone who has? Do you have other coping techniques that might help readers? Do you think you’d be able to support someone having a panic attack now? I look forward to your comments as always and I’m happy to answer any questions.

Chronic stress and what you need to know

Definition of chronic stress

Chronic stress and heart disease — image by Pixabay

Chronic stress is consistent with feeling pressured over a prolonged period of time, lasting at least longer than a month. It’s extremely debilitating and is associated with greater risk of disease including hypertension, weakened immune system, and cardiovascular problems. It might also lead to insomnia, feelings of anxiety, panic attack, and depression.

We previously looked at the fight or flight response, which is an automatic reaction to a stressful or frightening event. We’d notice the dramatic psychological (e.g. negative and/or racing thoughts) and physiological (e.g. palpitations, nausea, dizziness) reaction to a specific event (e.g. having to give a speech or presentaion a work). Awful, yes? However, once that stressful situation passes our symptoms fade, we’d relax a little and are able to get on with our day.

When stress becomes chronic

Chronic stress drains us — image from Pixabay

Unlike acute stress that dissipates and leaves us somewhat calmer, chronic stress steadily drains our psychological resources, leaving us feeling physically and emotionally exhausted.

Prolonged and excessive stress may result in burnout, where we feel overwhelmed, drained, and unable give any more – mentally or physically. We may think we’ve got little or no control, often we can’t see a way out, and feel incapable of changing our dreadful situation.

What causes it

A build up from acute stressors together with big life stressors can cause chronic stress, for example:

  • Divorce, or even marriage
  • Major life changes like moving home, a new baby
  • Death of a loved one
  • Changing jobs or losing a job
  • Long-term financial hardship
  • Relationship stress with family, friends, colleagues
  • Traumatic event, such as a natural disaster, theft, rape, or violence against you or a loved one
  • Physical and/or mental abuse
  • Chronic illness or disability
  • Taking care of an elderly or sick family member
  • Being constantly overworked

Symptoms

Chronic stress can cause many different symptoms. It might affect how you feel physically, mentally, and also how you behave. It’s not always easy to recognise when stress is the reason you’re feeling or acting differently. Symptoms of chronic stress might include:

  • Difficulty breathing
  • Panic attacks
  • Sleep problems; too much or too little
  • Fatigue
  • Lethargy
  • Unexplained aches and pain
  • Chest pains and high blood pressure
  • Regular indigestion or heartburn
  • Feeling sick, dizzy or fainting
  • Sudden weight gain or weight loss
  • Under or over eating
  • Developing rashes or itchy skin
  • Sweating
  • Changes to your period or menstrual cycle
  • Existing physical health problems getting worse
  • Unfocused and/or distorted thinking
  • Inability to concentrate/focus
  • Forgetfulness
  • Easily irritated/angered
  • Snapping at people

This list is not exhaustive, and you’d probably feel several of the above at any one time, together with feeling out of control, overwhelmed and unable to cope.

What we can do about it

Given the potential impact of prolonged stress, learning ways of managing, reducing, and preventing stress can be important tools for mental and physical health and wellbeing.

In the first instance, identify what triggers your stress and try to understand why this is. Write out your to-do list everyday to help you reassess your priorities and note the thoughts you’re having about the stressful situations you’re facing. Writing can be a very therapeutic way of dealing with stress, and you’ll more than likely spot a pattern of when or why you’re most stressed. Identifying your triggers is the first step in what’s known as the 4 A’s of stress management: avoid, alter, adapt, and accept.

Avoid

the trigger by learning to say NO (and mean it) i.e. to extra babysitting, to drinks with colleagues, or driving everyone around etc. And don’t feel you have to apologise or make excuses for saying NO. You could take the sting out of saying NO by maybe saying ‘NO, not today’, and stop right there! The first time I said NO to my brother-in-law when he asked me to babysit his daughter for the fourth time one week – I felt awful. But he was so shocked he just said ‘Oh, okay, I’ll come and pick her up’.

Furthermore, if you have social media posts tempting you with distractions — say NO. Avoid and say no to things and situations (even friends) that prevent you from staying focused on your tasks. As I write, I’ve just realised that I went off on Facebook writing groups distracting me from the job at hand — finishing this post — today!

Alter

Sometimes stressful situation can’t be avoided. Bearing this in mind, try to change things. Alter your situation i.e. asking someone else to pick up the dry cleaning, asking other school parents to take turns in getting the kids to football/swimming etc. Enlist help in completing household tasks. Ask the kids to hang up their coats, put their shoes away, and put their dirty clothes in the washing basket. You need to remind yourself too — stop trying to fit everything in and being all things to all people. Tell others what you need from them respectfully, and calmly but firmly. Always use “I” statements i.e. saying “I feel overloaded and unappreciated, can we find a way to resolve this?”

Adapt

Thinking you can’t cope (with all of this stress) is one of life’s greatest stressors. That’s why adapting — which often involves changing your standards or expectations — might be more helpful in dealing with stress. Do you really, really have to edit, re-edit and re-edit your blog posts again, leaving other tasks and chores to build up? Is a big house or more money really going to make you happier if you’re always stressed out? Is a shiny, spotless home really necessary all the time, especially when it’s such hard work? Sometimes “good enough” really has to be good enough. If you can’t change the situation, work on changing yourself by adapting.

Accept

that things are what they are — ‘it is what it is’ my sons often say!

However, acceptance is not the same as resignation, it simply means observing the moment without resistance, not giving in to it.  Take a few minutes of mindfulness; just focus on your breathing, allow thoughts to come and go, just focus on your breathing and keep doing that. Allow your shoulders to drop down from your ears, unclench your jaw and give it a little wiggle (or not, if you’re in public). Just take those few minutes to relax then focus on what you can do next.

This may mean learning to take a step back and stop trying to control other people and their actions. Remember, you can’t change other people, but you can change the way you respond (to their constant demands). Voice how you feel more freely, be more compassionate towards yourself, and learn to forgive or work on strategies to change the things you can change.

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference, Reinhold Niebuhr.

Other forms of help for chronic stress

Our wonderful NHS (UK) suggests the following

Over to you

Do you have any other tips to support people experiencing chronic stress? What works for you? I know some people say that Mindfulness or relaxation doesn’t work for them — and that’s okay — try another of the suggestions. Just don’t stress about it 🙂

What you need to know about “fight” or “flight” response

Fight or flight in animals in response to threat

Fight or flight response in animals – image from Unsplash

The fight or flight response is an automatic physiological reaction to an event that is perceived as stressful or frightening. It’s an evolutionarily ancient phenomenon that might be better understood in animals.

When faced with a threat most animals can defend themselves by fighting or fleeing. A stotting gazelle coming across sabre tooth tiger will launch instantly into a physical state designed to help it adapt to the threat i.e. fight or flight. Initially, however, the gazelle might freeze, and not because it’s too frightened to move. Freezing lets the gazelle seek evidence of potential danger. The sabre tooth tiger might have identified the slower-moving sloth as it’s target. And said gazelle can happily stott away, stress free, having no need to fight or flee.

Fight or flight in humans in response to perceived threat

We humans also have the same flight or fight instincts tho’ fortunately, we’re rarely, if ever, in the same situation as the stotting elk. Threat/stress/fear for us is generally a response to challenging or new life events such as a job loss, exams, deadlines, finances, poor health, or divorce.

Verywell / Joshua Seong

We experience stress because it is an evolutionary tool that keeps us alert, out of danger and surviving. It helps our bodies gear up for action—like avoiding an oncoming truck. We still have the same “fight or flight” respsonse as the stotting gazelle but in a different way. Like when I had to give presentations at university I’d be so nervous that my mouth dried up, my heart pounded, and my hands shook. I had to fight through it as the only other option was unimagineable — turning on my heels and fleeing.

No matter how many times I practised my presentation skills calmy at home in front of the mirror, presenting at uni still evoked anxiety, bordering on panic.

Some years later, as a senior nurse practitioner, I was required to do presentations for junior staff and I could cope with that. However, having to present to more senior staff, including our Chief Executive brought back my anxiety tenfold. I enrolled on a three day presentation skills course after which we were to deliver a five minute presentation to everyone on the course. Heart hammering, mouth like cotton wool, and shaking inside, I delivered the presentation and at the end asked if there were any questions. Hands shot up and the first person I looked at said “I have a question — why are you on this course? You’re a natural.” Others nodded and agreed that I looked so relaxed and confident, and came across well. Who’d have thought!

Stress presents itself in many forms

Stress is a common and normal physical response to challenging or new situations and can look and feel different for different people. Short-lived feelings of stress are a regular part of daily life i.e. your boss is more demanding today, or maybe you’re going to miss a deadline. Of course you’re stressed. This is what’s know as acute stress. It’s short term, it won’t last longer than your workday, and it may actually benefit you in some ways.

Situations that may cause acute stress

  • running late for work, college, picking up the kids
  • an impending deadline
  • argument with loved one
  • you’ve needlessly overspent this week
  • your upcoming exam
  • having lost phone, keys, purse
  • sitting in a traffic jam
  • presentations

However, it may be an every day occurence and on top of that you’re having a tough time at home, maybe you’re always short of money, and certain relationships are constantly fraught. When these feelings become long-lasting, or chronic, they can severely impact your health. This type of stress can become dangerous if you don’t try to overcome it.

Let’s take a break, then in my next post I’ll explain how you can overcome acute stress before we move on to chronic stress.

In the meantime, do you experience acute stressors at work or at home? Are you able to mange these effectively? Do you have any tips you’d like to share?

Retired Mental Health Nurse Goes On a surprise holiday

This mental health nurse retiree is off to the Caribbean

St Vincent — Image by Ernie A. Stephens from Pixabay

Well look at me — the Caribbean, indeed. Hubby decided to surprise me with a far away holiday and we’re off tomorrow. I know this isn’t my normal type of post but I thought I’d get a bit more personal this time round.

We’re off on the trip of a lifetime — four weeks in sunny St Vincent and Bequia, and I think I’m excited. See the funny thing is, because of my Transverse Myelitis, I have no internal sensation from my boobs down. Therefore I don’t get the fluttering of butterflies that excitement often brings. Only my head/brain can tell me how I’m thinking – not feeling. So, as I said, I think I’m excited,

We start our journey from London at five tomorrow morning. I’ve checked us in online — tick, printed the tickets — tick, got all the sun creams — tick. I’ve done all the hard work but guess who still has to pack? Oh, everything’s ready to go in my case but hubby keeps telling me I’m taking too much. Hey, we’re going for four weeks….. and heck, I have no intention of ironing out there.

Being medically retired has some benefits

Fortunately, since I was medically retired from my mental health nurse days, we’ve been to lots of places. But the Caribbean’s always been on my bucket list — tick. Oh, and — we’ve got our own tour guide — we’re going with a pal who’s from St Vincent. I am so looking forward to exploring some of the Islands, enjoying the sun and the beaches but mostly to trying the local food like plantain, salt fish and ackee. The last time I tried it was when I was helping a patient to budget, shop for and cook food that he enjoyed. However, despite asking him to wash his hands before any food preparation, I never quite trusted that he’d washed the snot off the back of his hand. Many of you might know that I get queasy just thinking about bodily fluids, and snot’s high up there. Urgh!

Moving on – quickly

Because of my disability and sometimes low mood it’s great that I have things to look forward to. And boy, there’s lots this year! When we get back (did I tell you we were going to the Caribbean 😜) we’ll go up to Scotland to visit my family for a few weeks. After that we’re taking off on a tour through France to visit friends and to attend the D Day 80th Anniversary. Then we’re off to Atina in Italy with family and friends, before moving on to Spain for a few weeks to see our other good friends.

Well, I need to get a couple of hours sleep in so I’m off now. Let me know if you’re holidaying this year and where you’re going.

Mental health services being outsourced to private companies

I recently shared an article about NHS privatisation written by DR JULIA GRACE PATTERSON💙founder and Chief Executive of EveryDoctor. EveryDoctor is a doctor-led campaign organisation fighting for a better NHS. They believe

  • in a future NHS where every patient is safe and every staff member is supported.
  • in an NHS that remains in public ownership, free at the point of delivery.
  • that the UK government should halt and reverse NHS privatisation. No one should be seeking to profit from public healthcare. 

Head on over to EveryDoctor to see the brilliant work they’re doing, and get involved. In the meantime, Dr Julia wants to tell us about the amount of public money that is being funnelled into the private mental health sector.

The following is all Dr Julia’s work

and she writes:

This is a subject that is close to my heart, because my background is as a psychiatry doctor. I think of mental health as one of the “canaries in the mine” for the NHS. What was happening in NHS mental health services ten years ago is what has now happened across the board; underfunding, under-investment, loss of key staff, and privatisation.

If you’re working in a socially deprived area, and many of your patients are extremely unwell and extremely vulnerable, you see the impact of politicians’ bad decisions, because they impact peoples’ lives in huge and horrible ways. I looked after people who did not have a solid social architecture; a network of people keeping them well, safe, and cared for. In those circumstances, when you cut away public services, you are cutting away their safety. It’s that simple.

How private companies are receiving vast amounts of money

Ten years ago, mental health patients faced overcrowding on wards, or their support worker had such a large caseload that they didn’t receive enough attention, or they had to travel a long way from home to get the care they desperately needed.

What is happening now, ten years on? I bet you can guess. Private companies have swooped in, to “help”, and there are now vast sums of public money making their way into private companies who are propping up the NHS in various ways.

Why it’s bad that mental health serivces are still being outsourced

Mental health services being outsourced


● Because private companies skim off the services or treatments that can generate the most profit, leaving the NHS to provide the costly, complex treatment.
● Because the tendering of contracts is burdensome, bureaucratic and expensive. Guess who foots the bill? The NHS of course.
● Because if it doesn’t work out for a private company, they can exit, creating turmoil for local patients and staff alike.
● Because in psychiatry there are various subspecialties, for example child and adolescent in-patient psychiatry, older adult care, or psychiatric intensive care. These services are not being planned properly to allow equal NHS provision
across the country. NHS patients being treated in private facilities often have to
travel far from home, away from the local support teams and away from their loved ones, who struggle to visit. All of this impacts on a patient’s ability to get better and get home safely.

EveryDoctor is now researching how much public money is finding its way to the private mental health sector, and the findings are staggering.

How much money is spent on private mental health hospital beds

We haven’t finished this work (it’s complicated and time-consuming), but here’s just one example we’ve found so far:

We asked NHS Trusts how much money they are spending on private mental health hospital beds for patients. One trust has said that in 2019 they spent £2,695,544. In 2023, they spent £14,082,289. This is staggering, and it’s happening because NHS mental health beds have been cut back so significantly by the Conservative government since 2010.

We are working as hard and as quickly as we can on this research, because privatisation is bad for patients, bad for NHS staff, and bad for the future of the NHS. The only way we will hold politicians to account effectively is if we show them the facts, and demand better. Every single person in this country deserves better than this. Thank you so much for being a member of EveryDoctor and helping us to do this work!

Over to you

The above article makes me so bloody angry. And it should make you angry too. One trust has said that in 2019 they spent £2,695,544. In 2023, they spent £14,082,289. Abso-bloody-lutely staggering indeed! And right under our noses! What are your thoughts on our wonderful free NHS? ny thoughts? If you’re in the UK, will you get involved in EveryDoctor‘s campaign to keep our NHS Public?

10 attributes of a good mental health nurse

What makes an excellent mental health nurse?

A fellow-blogger is considering a career in mental health nursing and asked what skills they would need in order to become a good mental health nurse. Forget skills for a moment, I’d suggest that certain attributes are required of good mental health nurses (RMN’s).

Perhaps you are or you’ve been a patient and you’re not sure what to expect of RMN’s? Whether or not you’re engaged in the mental health field, wouldn’t it be amazing if everyone had these attributes? Okay, that’s a big ask. But having these attributes can help make a difference; even in your own lives and relationships…

MH nursing is the most rewarding job ever, trust me. It’s a highly respected career and there’s always a demand for skilled RMN’s. It’s often demanding, challenging, stressful, and exhausting, but it’s never boring. If you’re considering a career in this exciting, ever-growing area of nursing, you’ll need to think about the attributes needed for mental health nursing.

Attributes of a good mental health nurse

Words of Angela Mayou - People might not remember your name but they will never forget how you made them feel.

It’s a given that RMN’s need a sound knowledge of the theories of mental health and illness. They also need to understand and apply current legislation, paying attention to the protection of those who are vulnerable. Furthermore, nurses must use their knowledge of patients to handover to multidisciplinary teams effectively, to ensure continuity of care.

However, there’s so much more needed to nurse patients who experience mental illness, and who are often distressed or confused. So now it’s time to put the knowledge books aside and think about the attributes of a good RMN.

Empathy helps patients with mental illness

Good RMN’s must have the ability to put themselves in someone else’s shoes, walk a mile in their shoes. Imagine the single parent being admitted to hospital and her children having to be fostered out? Or the married man whose wife leaves him — because of his clinical depression. What about the man who dresses as a female and everyone laughs at him? Try putting yourself in any of their shoes.

Try not to use platitudes like “Time is a great healer.” to someone who’s just lost their mum/dad or “It will all look brighter in the morning.” to someone who’s depressed. At best you’ll sound insincere and at worst, condescending.

Don’t offer unwanted or ill-informed advice either. Who wants to hear “Oh my mum’s neighbour’s grandson had that and he used to ………..” Or “When my friend had depression, she ……..” then go on telling your own story. This isn’t empathy. It’s not about you, or your friend! It’s for and about the patient, or the person standing in front of you.

Being Non-judgmental is essential

Black image writing You are not alone on this journey, about judgement
Non-judgemental

Of course, it’s in our nature to judge, and it can be a good thing, it’s how we make sense of our world. Sometimes we all make snap decisions about a person; based on their colour, race, religion and even small things like how they’re dressed. But doing so is not an attribute of a good mental health nurse.

Being judgemental alienates us from others, which is no good in a mental health environment because patients need to be able to trust that you’ll do your very best for them, regardless.

Good mental health nurses, and indeed people, need to look beyond the presenting facade and immediate appearance, behind which they’ll often find very human and tragic struggles.

You can help your patients by providing kind, nonjudgmental care that acknowledges all aspects of their makeup. Nonjudgmental, holistic care affirms the dignity of your patients and helps them have a voice in their healthcare, (Arkansas University, 2017).

You can disagree with a patient’s or friend’s choices or strong opinion but do it in a non-judgemental way. You could say something like “I hear what you’re saying and I appreciate your opinion, but I see it differently. Tell me why you think …………”

Communication skills are a key requirement for every good mental health nurse

therapy session
A good mental health nurse must be able actively listen — Pexels.com

Excellent communication skills are a must when working with confused, maybe angry, depressed, manic, or psychotic patients and their families. In fact, I think we can all learn about better communication skills.

Active listening is an essential communication skill. We need to be able to actively listen, to stay in the moment with the patient. So, don’t immediately start preparing your answer to their questions — listen to the end of their ‘story’. The clue is often there; a small add-on from the patient —right at the end — and that might actually be the problem that’s causing them the most grief.

Remember, there is so much going on for say a newly admitted patient, and their needs may be complex, often requiring support in several areas. They may be too fatigued to deal with things like finances and bills or pets, so you’ll need to effectively communicate these needs to the multidisciplinary team.

Nonverbal Communication can communicate a powerful message without saying a word, be it positive or negative…. So be aware of how you might come across to patients.

Watch out for their nonverbal communication — this can tell you a lot about them, without them having said a word. Observe facial gestures to see whether they’re smiling, nodding, frowning. Observe their posture; are they slumped, sagging shoulders, dressed appropriately for the weather. You might observe that the patient smells or their teeth haven’t been brushed for some time. You might notice that the patient is sweating or has a fever, and understand that you have to take action.

“You need to be able to look, to see the patient, and sometimes the family dynamics, in order to gather information.”

The Royal College of Nursing (RCN)

Speak Clearly

You must be able to speak

  • courteously: be polite, and avoid using a condescending or aggressive tone.
  • clearly: choosing words that are simple and familiar to make your message easier for patients to understand. It will then be easy for the patient to ask questions and seek clarification of anything that has been shared.
  • concisely: stating your message briefly will help your patient retain the information you offer.

Ask your patient if they need clarification or more time to think about what you’ve just said. Paraphrase their questions to ensure your understanding of the message they want to send.

Compassion

“Compassion is usefully described as a sensitivity to distress together with the commitment, courage and wisdom to do something about it.”

Cole-King & Gilbert, 2011

It’s a genuine sympathy for hardship or suffering . It’s kindness and the simple act of showing it can make a world of difference in a patient’s day. Mental health nurses come into people’s lives when they are in distress and vulnerable, and how they treat patients, and their families can leave a lasting impression.

Accepting differences and finding things in common help you relate to a patient/person, and what they might be going through. You’ll be showing them a kindness they might not get elsewhere, and despite them being mentally unwell, they will appreciate and remember it.

Leaving your own world at the front door, and just being there in the moment with a patient encourages openness and mutual trust. These small acts impact on a patient’s emotional responses and their view of the care they are to receive.

Sometimes mental health nurses are the only person they have to listen to them and take their illness seriously, which is why compassion is key. It’s always at the forefront of what nurses do.

Treating yourself and your colleagues compassionately goes a long way too. If we can’t look after ourselves, how then do we look after patients?

Commitment must be on your list if you are a nurse

Comment bubble saying This nurse cares

Commitment in nursing is about providing the best care available at all times. You must commit to building positive and trusting relationships with colleagues and patients and their significant others to promote continuity of care.

A nurse must be able to make the patient and families feel valued and cared for, and feel safe in the nurses knowledge and skills. Therefore a good mental health nurses must stay up to date with all relevant practice and be committed to lifelong learning.

Continuing professional development that focuses on compassion will enable delivery of excellent patient-centered and evidence-based care. Moreover, good mental health nurses must commit to taking good care of their own physical, emotional and mental health. If a nurse is not okay, how can they expect to look after their patients

How a good mental health nurse must have the ability to stay calm in a crisis

Mental health quote
Staying calm in a crisis

If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs ………. by Rudyard Kipling comes to mind. It’s imperative that qualified mental health nurses have the ability to remain calm when dealing with emotional outbursts or challenging behaviour.

Being calm will be beneficial to both you and the patient. If you’re panicking or flapping about, the patient will feel it and they too might become distressed.

Remaining calm when interacting with distressed and vulnerable patients will help to de-escalate or diffuse a potential risk situation.

Emotional intelligence: A mental health nurse must have the ability to understand her patient’s emotions

Coloured image of female sitting on edge of mountain - Understand and manage your own emotions
Understanding your emotions

Emotional Intelligence (EI) is described by two researchers (Peter Salavoy and John Mayer) as the ability to

  • recognize, understand and manage our own emotions
  • recognize, understand and influence the emotions of others

In practical terms, this means being aware that emotions can drive our behaviour and impact people (positively and negatively), and learning how to manage those emotions – both our own and others – especially when we are under pressure.

Many nurses have a natural ability to relate well to others tho’ there are some who seem incapable. Fortunately, EI is both a natural talent and something that can be developed.

A nurse with developed EI would recognise that the underlying emotion of an angry or agitated patient is actually one of being scared. If there’s ever a challenging situation where a patient becomes aggressive or physically threatening this nurse would ultimately handle the situation in a different way to a nurse with undeveloped EI. Thus, averting further escalation and ensuring the safety of the patient and others.

Noticing, understanding, and managing one’s own and other’s emotions can be used to effectively engage the patient and bring calm to the situation. You might say to the patient “I hear what you’re saying……. I can see that you’re angry. What can I do to help? What would you like me to do?” “Would you like to sit with me and I can listen?”

If you can identify the emotions behind a patient’s behaviour, you’ll have a better understanding of where they are coming from and how to best interact with them. 

Adaptability – mental health nursing in a fast paced environment

Adaptability or willingness to change in order to suit different conditions is necessary in an ever-changing work environment, particularly in nursing. A mental health nurse will meet people who are often misunderstood by society, including their family and friends. Therefore, nurses will need to adapt quickly and easily to new patients, family dynamics, different disorders, and changes in moods.

There’s also new students, new mental health nurses, change in Junior Doctors every six months, new procedures and policies…………… The list is infinite end ever-changing, as is the mental health environment. Mental health nurses must be flexible, be curious, be open-minded, and able to see ahead and have a plan B.

The above attributes are essential though this list is not exhaustive. There are are many more personal characteristics such as being warm, engaging, and considerate.

Over to you

What do you think?
Clipart.com

I wish I could say I observed all the above in practice during three years of study and fifteen years of working within mental health. What do you think? I’d be interested to hear your thoughts and I’m happy to answer any questions.

It’s scary raising concerns about your colleagues

Would you put yourself in the firing line and raise your concerns about a colleague’s poor practice?

a couple having an argument
It’s scary raising concerns about your colleagues — Photo on Pexels.com

It is scary raising concerns about your colleagues’ poor practice; terrifying in fact! But it is important to recognise the need to address such concerns.

I’ve written about the nurse who came in laden with a pillow, slippers, and a big blanket every night shift. Once patients were in bed she made herself comfortable on the sofa where she slept ’til around six a.m. She wasn’t the only member of staff who slept during their break. But the majority at least woke after an hour or two and returned to duty.

I don’t believe staff should sleep while on duty on busy acute mental health wards. There was one qualified nurse and one nursing assistant on duty during the night shift, on a twenty (plus) bedded ward. If someone was sleeping that only left one member staff to deal with any admissions or any emergency that might occur. It felt unsafe but, as a student, I was advised by colleagues not to rock the boat.

It wasn’t easy raising concerns about my colleagues

I’d returned to studying at the grand old age of thirty-six and was classed as an adult learner. An adult who knew right from wrong. Therefore I didn’t feel I could ignore the ‘sleeping’ as it made the shift unsafe for both patients and non-sleeping staff. The NMC Code of Conduct 2015 states ‘work with colleagues to preserve the safety of those receiving care.’ I’d share this to the nurse in charge and would many times hear ‘Look it’s just what we do.’ or ‘Everyone does it.’ and ‘We all take two-hour breaks here and if you want to sleep, that’s okay.’

I’d already raised concerns that were largely ignored so I stood my ground and explained to senior staff that if it continued and they ignored it, I’d have no option but to escalate. Subsequently, there were no ‘sleepers’ whenever I was on duty. Later, I heard that I was a ‘splitter’; someone who ‘split the team’ by complaining about colleagues.

I completed another placement with a community mental health team (CMHT) and I hated it. I had to work with several miserable burnt-out nurses, those who’d left the hustle and bustle of the acute wards for quieter and easier nine-to-five jobs in the community. I’ve previously mentioned, my Supervisor was regularly thirty to forty minutes late so I asked other staff if I could accompany them on patient visits.

I was often met with belligerence and tutting and came across some staff with a chip on their shoulder. ‘They should have got promotion.’ ‘They didn’t win any awards.’ ‘They shouldn’t have to be walking the streets at their age.’ ‘They’re fed up with students.’ Blah blah, flippin’ blah.

Impacting on patient care

How could they not know that their attitude impacted on relationships with patients? They clicked their teeth, tutted and whinged during patient assessments at home. “Tsk, George why is this flat such a mess? If you can’t look after yourself you’ll be admitted (to hospital).” They’d do a quick ‘How are you? You sleeping well? Eating well? You better be taking your medication, yes? Okay, don’t you get into any trouble. You hear me? See you next week George.’ Then they’d leave. There was rarely any encouragement or real conversation, always negative or condescending comments. Oh my word… give it up. Leave the job. Change career. Retire! Ffs!

Many times, on my days off, I’d spot community staff in Tesco around three or four p.m. They’d be doing a large shop then sitting down for coffee and cakes when they should have been at someone’s home. That’s when you see in patient’s notes “Knocked two or three times and patient not in.” and you can see the same comment documented for weeks at a time! Some nurses/social workers/support staff would at least have the good grace to look away embarrassed when they spotted me.

During one ward round, the Consultant Psychiatrist was discussing a male patient who’d recently been admitted to hospital. The young man was malodorous and unkempt, with long matted dreadlocks, cigarette-stained fingers and dirty nails. He was one of those patient’s who’s notes read ‘Patient not at home’ for 6 consecutive months so he’d clearly not been seen by community staff. It made me cross, and I raised concerns about seeing staff shopping during working hours. Later, once the attending Community Psychiatric Nurse (CPN) returned to her office she told her colleagues and boss what I’d said. I got a short, sharp, round-robin email telling me to speak with the community team manager before complaining in meetings. Ah! — the relief when I saw that the Consultant Psychiatrist had responded to said email before I could. He wrote that I had done the right thing and to leave it at that.

Your role in raising concerns

The following is an abstract from the NMC’s Guidance on ‘Raising concerns
1 As a nurse, midwife or nursing associate, you have a professional duty to report any concerns from your workplace which put the safety of the people in your care or the public at risk.
2 The Code (section 16) states the following.
2.1 Act without delay if you believe that there is a risk to patient safety or public protection.
2.2 To achieve this you must:
2.3 Raise and, if necessary, escalate (take further action on) any concerns you may have about patient or public safety, or the level of care people are receiving at your workplace or any other healthcare setting and use the channels available to you in line with our guidance and your local working practices.

Okay, nobody likes a complainer, but did they really think I liked having to raise concerns? As a student learning how to become a good mental health nurse, I felt it was necessary to address issues in order to improve nursing standards. But it wasn’t something I enjoyed.

Moving on

Some time later and having worked on my first acute mental health ward for about six months, I was awarded the Trust’s ‘Most excellent Newcomer of the Year‘ which came with a nice cheque for £500 (donated by a local company), flowers and a lovely piece of inscribed crystal that now sits proudly in a dusty cardboard box somewhere. As I walked through my colleagues to the lecturn to receive my award I heard the whispers behind covered mouths ‘Tsk. That’s her. That’s the splitter!” Talk about taking the shine off my lovely new award, and that’s my main memory of what should have been a special moment.

I appreciate that many of my posts have highlighted the poor practices and the lack of care I witnessed, and they have their place. But there are many more reasons for the decline in quality and safety of mental health services in the UK. One of which is political and my next post will explain a little further.

Over to you

Have you ever had to raise concerns about a colleague? How did that go? If you haven’t raised any concerns yet, would you?

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