Learn how to challenge the irrational beliefs ruining your life

Are irrational beliefs ruining your quality of life?

In my last post we looked at CBT techniques for managing distressing thoughts and feelings, namely the ABC model. Think back — the aim of CBT is to challenge our irrational and dysfunctional thought processes.

When we learn to use the ABC model, we can begin to intervene and take control of our thoughts, feelings, and behaviours.

Remember — While some Activating events can undoubtedly upset our lives (i.e. failing your driving test), we do have some control over how we react and respond to them (i.e. I can always sit it again). For the most part, the more positively we respond, the more positive our outcomes will be.

ABCDE model helps you challenge irrational beliefs

Further to the ABC model, there’s the ABCDE model. Let’s see how we can use the ABCDE model to further challenge your irrational beliefs/thoughts.

Again, remember — the basic idea behind the ABC model is that “external events (A) do not cause emotions (C), but beliefs (B) and, in particular, irrational beliefs (IBs) do.” According to Ellis, these are some of the common irrational assumptions we make:

• we have no control over our happiness.
• we should be thoroughly competent at everything.
• it’s catastrophic when things aren’t the way we want them to be.
• we need someone stronger than ourself to be dependent on.
• there must be a perfect solution to human problems, and it’s a disaster if we don’t find it.

Ellis introduced a simple method to remove some of the weight from these assumptions in order to help us focus on things that matter. Let’s go back to the failed driving test.

A — Activating Event
This activating event is the source of your anger or dejection. In other words, it is your adversity. I failed my driving test.

B — Beliefs
In this section, you should state what general beliefs you are feeling in regard to the activating event.I shouldn’t have failed? I’ll never pass the damn test!

C — Consequences
This aspect of the model is possibly the most important: openly identifying your emotions as a direct result of your beliefs. I feel so angry that I couldn’t pass.I must be really stupid. I bet everyone’s laughing at me, I feel so embarrassed.

Irrational beliefs lead to irrational consequences

Ellis asserted that irrational beliefs lead to irrational consequences, or feelings, and vice versa. It’s important to identify your feelings so that you can figure out if they are irrational or not.

Our example: I’m angry and ashamed that I can’t pass my test when I tried so hard. I must be useless and I’m a laughing stock to others.

D — Disputing
Here’s a very important section. This is where you begin to turn your feelings around. If the belief you stated above is irrational, then you can identify your sentiments as irrational as well.
My assumption that “I shouldn’t” and “I’ll never” are weighted in irrational beliefs.
Dispute these irrational beliefs i.e. “Okay, if I hadn’t stayed out until 3 in the morning I might have been better prepared for my test.” or “Perhaps I could have waited to resit the test, knowing I had lots of college exams the same week.”

Dispute the beliefs to find which are dysfunctional

by asking yourself:

• what is the evidence that my belief is true? i.e. who saysI should have passed or that I’ll never pass the test?
• in what ways is my belief helpful or unhelpful? “My beliefs are unhelpful, they’re irrational.”
• what helpful/self-enhancing belief can I use to replace each self-defeating or dysfunctional belief? i.e. “I’ve passed many exams before and got distinctions in most, which proves I am not stupid.” and “My friends have always been supportive of me so there’s no reason for them to laugh at me now. They’ll be disappointed for me but will cheer me on to pass the next time.”

Looking at the above example, you can ask whether your beliefs are justified by the activating event. Or are they based on inaccurate assumptions or ‘mind-reading? In CBT world, mind reading or making assumptions about what other people are thinking are classed as thinking errors (another interesting read).

Balancing statements to challenge the irrational beliefs ruining your life

On reflection, if you think the beliefs aren’t justified, then you might want to consider some Balancing Statements. You can then remind yourself of these if similar activating events occur again — to help keep what is happening in perspective. In the example above, possible Balancing Statements might be:

• “Maybe I did fail this test, but I’ve passed lots of other tests over the years, and many with distinction.”
• And you might think “I’m really just jumping to conclusions because my friends don’t normally laugh at other people’s downfalls.” or “My friends are often my biggest cheerleaders so why would they laugh on this occasion?”
• Rather than “I’m so stupid” you might think “I’ve done well in all other exams, this is just a temporary setback and I’ll pass next time.” You might also try asking yourself what a trusted friend might say or think in the same situation.

This reflection will challenge your negative beliefs and hopefully, your angry and embarrassed feelings will dissipate.

E is for exchanging old irrational beliefs

E — Exchange old unhelpful irrational beliefs for effective new rational and balanced beliefs, and emotional consequences.

The final section of this method requires turning your new rational belief into rational emotions that can inspire you to tackle future problems. The goal of this exercise is to turn unhealthy feelings into positive, healthy ones. Ask yourself:

• What helpful/self-enhancing new belief can I use to replace each self-defeating or dysfunctional belief? i.e. “I’m quite bright actually, seeing the amount of exams I have passed,” and “even if my friends do laugh, they’ll be laughing at me for thinking I’m stupid.”
• Now, what are my new feelings? i.e Relaxed, not angry, no longer embarrassed and actually quite proud of my achievements to date.

These simple exercises help us to build awareness of ‘how’ we think – they help us to see patterns and links over time. Most importantly, they help us see that our thoughts are often irrational, illogical and unhelpful so that we can
dispute them and replace them with positive self-talk.

So, if you find yourself having destructive, negative or irrational thoughts, you might want to try using this exercise. As I’ve often said, practice (and keep practicing) this exercise so that you can instantly recognise what is troubling you or causing you problems in the future.

Will you try to challenge any irrational beliefs ruining your life?

Over to you

What do you think? Are you familiar with the explanation of the ABCDE model? In which situations would you apply this tool? Do you recognize irrational thoughts on a personal level? How can the ABCDE model help you?